Gentle & Good

WORDS BY ZOE GILLIGAN / @SAOLZOE
VISUALS BY GEORGIA WILLIAMS / @GEORGIAFAYWILLIAMZ

As of recent, I "let someone in" (though not wholly) who, I've come to realize, did not deserve it. I offered what I could, only expecting time and trust, but apparently even those expectations were too much to ask.
   These words are a testament to those who simply have made mistakes and been used. You trusted the wrong person, you missed all the signs, you just wanted to feel good. What you did was more than enough but it doesn't feel that way, does it? Well, you are enough — more than enough. And you are so worth it. Have a little faith, trust, and love in yourself. You and your garden need some tending to.

Gentle & Good

I.

She let you in her house
You tried barging through
But she gently let you in

Your hands that she loved,
Ones that made her quiver and sigh,
Were shoved in your pockets
As you walked through and gaged
Her kitchen and her sunroom
You tried to conquer your way through
But she gently let you in

When it wasn't enough,
When you could not see,
You demanded a refund;
You demanded to be let in
You fiercely rapped on her door
You tried punching it down,
Tried forcing it to budge
Her door was sealed shut
But she gently let you in



II.

She opened a backdoor,
Small and off the path, 
But it wasn't enough 
You wanted more
You wanted what wasn't yours
You wanted to feel good
So you lied
You told her wicked words and 
Loving lies, to make that door 
Easier to open, to break
That door
But she gently let you in

You promised you'd wait
You'd wait
On the corner of her doorstep
Rain, shine, or hail
You'd wait, because
She asked for time — 
Days, not months — 
You could not wait
You said, "Baby, we have all the time
In the world." When did the world end?
You did not wait
But she gently let you in

III.

She never belonged to anyone
Her secret garden, to which she always
Fled, in it she confided and
Leaned against the towering stone walls,
Taking in the
Willows and the violets and the marigolds,
Watering them with her silver tears,
As they saw your menacing shadow
Slip away into the night,
No destination in mind
But she gently let you in

You knew she had flowers 
Sprouting from her rotting body
But you did not know of such
A garden
You simply wanted to cage
Those flowers, then rip them
From their roots when the time
Was right
To fulfill you, to make you feel good 
For that, you'd wait 
But the white lilies of another
Pleaded for you to suck them whole and dry
So you left, you walked away,
You ran, you coward
You slighted your love without even 
A goodbye
But she gently let you in


IV.

She thanked every star watching over her
That she did not softly take your hand
And lead you through
Her garden
That she did not allow you to touch
Her flowers
And to roam and gaze and laugh and cry
And breathe in their wonders and beauty!
They never were for you
She never was for you
But she gently let you in

And now you'll never know the taste
Of springtime in winter,
Of stolen cherry kisses,
Of clementines on blue and white 
Checkered blankets under willow trees,
And of her, her taste her sound her move —
There's nothing quite like it!
The dahlias giggle and
The dogwood trees blush
You left this, you left her
You left her door hanging open, 
Broken
But she gently let you in

V.

You now walk through 
A small and barren flower patch
Where the flowers are few and
Have already been used, spoiled
By you, dull as can be
It is that of another she, one for whom
You did not have to wait —
She invited you into her house
In her room and in her flower patch too
You conquer and you feel good,
Taking taking taking all for your
Damned consumption
There is not much to take anymore 
But she swiftly let you in


VI.

Flowers bloom at her touch
Just like you once did
Even if you broke her door,
You were sightless to her —
To her letting you in —
So you left
But you too were sightless 
To her gently letting you out

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful poem Zoe ! Your words are very touching :)

    ReplyDelete