Always: Remembering Alan Rickman

WORDS BY ZOE ALLEN / @EOZALLEN
COLLAGE BY BLAKEY BESSIRE / @BLAKEYHCB

The amount of grief that has consumed me so far this week is unbelievable, especially because it is caused by two incredible people that I never met. David Bowie, whom Blakey and Ellie have previously written about, joined all of the stars he so often sang about on Sunday. I doubt my emotions written down into words could do Starman justice like the other two, but my heart has felt heavy. His absence is noted and although his art will always be with me, the world feels lesser. 
   Thursday morning was equally as painful for me. As an avid Harry Potter fan, I am all too familiar with how it feels to love, lose, and love again...it is a commonplace in the series, it over consumes Harry in frightening ways, and Rowling has always been able to put these frigid, overpowering emotions and thoughts down into the most perfect of words. 
   CNN told me first. "Alan Rickman, the English actor known for his role in the Harry Potter movie series, has died, a source says. He was 69." 




My favorite chapter of the entire Potter series is entitled "Snape's Memories", in which Harry finally realizes the tormented past that his "foe" had endured. The bully is actually a hero, and it's not that he dislikes James (Harry's father), it's more that he is in love with Lily. When Harry realizes the true nature behind all of Severus' actions, he is dead. I cry every time at that chapter, and not just single tears--it's loud, it's obnoxious, it's heart wrenching. 
   This morning was like that chapter to me. When I heard the news that Rickman had passed, the tears fell. My heart felt heavier, pulled down by the weight of losing yet another truly inspirational human being. 
   The image that has touched me the most thus far is the picture that is circulating Twitter that shows the wands of Hogwarts students being raised in salute of Dumbledore in the aftermath of his death. 
The irony and beauty of this cannot help but make me smile and also feel exorbitant amounts of pain. The character that killed Dumbledore received the same salute as Dumbledore, one of the highest respects of the Wizarding World, a sign of great remembrance. The significance of this gesture is highly regarded even in our world, where no one truly wields a wand or attends a school like Hogwarts. 



I'm so happy that Rickman earned this salute when he passed, because Snape's story never earned him the respect he deserved.
   He may have played the villain on the screen, but he was an incredible, wonderful, kind, generous person in real life. Daniel Radcliffe, who spent many years with him on and off screen, posted on his Google Plus page earlier this morning: 


"People create perceptions of actors based on the parts they played so it might surprise some people to learn that contrary to some of the sterner (or downright scary) characters he played, Alan was extremely kind, generous, self-deprecating and funny."

Radcliffe was joined by many others involved in the Potter movies in memoriam of Rickman's prosperous life. J.K. Rowling, Emma Watson, Matthew Lewis, and many others were part of the copious amounts of those touched by Rickman who shared their thoughtful condolences today. 
   I cannot help but to remember Rickman based mostly off of his portrayal of Snape, even though he was involved in other notable projects throughout his notable life time. I also cannot help but feel that Radcliffe, who portrayed Harry, is going to remember Rickman much like Harry eventually did. 

"Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin, and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew." 


For all of those who loved Rickman, this quote took on a new meaning the day he passed. "Severus" became interchangeable with "Rickman", and everything else, and more, still applied. 

We love and miss you very much, Alan. 

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