Dear Diary: The Last Page

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Here's a little spiel about the torture of finishing books:

In the midst of battle between the villain and some heroic protagonist of sorts, my trembling hands flip the paper until the last page is visible. I cannot be nearing the end... not now! Not when the plot is reaching its peak and beloved characters are being halved by double-sided serrated-edged swords from head to toe! Squinting, in aim not to see any spoilers or characters mentioned who might be still alive — to my shock — I glance to see how many pages are left and calculate how many more minutes reading this chapter will give me of my high, until the inevitable crash washes over my poor, poor brain. It's an unadulterated blind panic. Sighing deeply, I return to the page I was on and find my line. I proceed. It's exciting, it's fast-paced, and it's the end. My cheeks begin to wet [from tears]; I begin to slow my pace, aware that the last page is fast approaching. I savour the last page, for in the blink of an eye, the book will be over and another life I've lived in for a couple of days will be ended.
   And there. Boom. Done. Internal feelings and thoughts firing around my brain dim slowly and a zombie is the state in which I am left, also slowly fizzing away. Numbness. It seems my soul has been zapped of all life, unfeeling and unseeing. It's strange, isn't it? How the body — the mind — occupies what can become desolate... and absent. Utterly, well, dead, but only once chapter one begins. It's like riding a wave that lasts for however long to which you want and everyone on the shore is watching you have the time of your life. When I finish a book, I can't think what activity can occupy myself at similar level to which literature can engross my spirit. It is a 'farewell old friend' sort of situation and the same sort of idea as burying a loved one.

To say finishing a book is bittersweet is an understatement, and I can imagine those reading this who simply don't empathise with this feeling are currently thinking that I, along with this post, are just weird.

My personal favourite YouTuber 'danisnotonfire' understands. The link to his channel is here. Examples of his understandings follow:






All GIFS credited to Tumblr.

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